Welcome to the Shit Film (Jungle 2013)

So Mr JCVD has tried to release a comedy....

.......he needs to stick to being a hardman (I use that term loosely these days) as this film is utter shit!

It has tried to be something it is not and the fact they have a Seth Rogan wanna be just annoyed me more than anything!

Give it a swerve and watch some paint dry or grass grow if you have the chance...



Peace

Tattoos and TV Shows

So Channel 4 put out another show on body modification, last nights episode was about tattoos...

So again like pretty much all the Documentary's C4 put out about tattoos, it was showing them in a not so flattering light, to start with who is Katie Piper to tell anyone not to get a tattoo, that really got on my nerves, secondly, the way the show portrayed laser removal, pretty much glorifying it, i understand supply and demand, and there is a lot of demand as there is equal amounts of stupid people getting stupid tattoos and down right shit tattooers trying to pass of absolute piles of poo as tattoos, BUT Who in there right mind and with good conscience tattoos JAPS on some guys eye though....

I hope the rest of the series is a bit more fair or at least shows both points of view when it comes to body mods, lastly there was an elderly lady who was on the art work for super tramps album interviewed and she put Katie Piper in her place, She was still happy with her tattoos 40 years on!!

So when people as me what i'm going to do when i'm older, my reply will be just like hers, still look fucking awesome and I'll Grow a GREAT BIG BUSHY BEARD.

There's been a murder ( Insert Scottish accent )

Filth Kicks you in the bollocks from about 40 seconds in and doesn't let you recover until the credits roll after a nifty cartoon, The cast is really to credit but its Mcavoy who is just superb in this movie playing Detective Bruce Robertson and alcoholic drug ravaged Scot who just doesn't give a FUCK....

If you love trainspotting you will absolutely love this obviously as they are both Irvine Welsh books.

 

Go forth and watch this film!

 

 

Peace

Shit I Need To See In 2014

So not that it really matters but these are my picks of shit to see for the rest of the year:

• Dumb and Dumber to


• Expendables 3


• Need for speed - just for Arron Paul


• Sabotage - Arnie is back again


• Robocop


• TMNT - I am so torn over this film!


• Neighbors


• The Lego  Movie


• Transformers - Mr Wahlberg should be good


• Dawn of the planet of the apes


• 300, Rise of an Empire


• 22 Jump Street


• Sin City, A Dame to Kill For


• Cap Merica FUCK YEAH


• Spiderman 2


• X-men Days of future past


• GODZILLA


• Guardians of the Galaxy


• Draft Day


• The Fault in our stars - An amazing book, hope the film does it justice


• Jersey Boys

There you go

Peace

Sell me this pen

Thank the baby jesus that I had a screener for the wolf of walls street as 3hrs in a cinema chair is not my kind of thing, that being said what a film indeed although Jonah Hill dressed as a sex pest is a little creepy.



Best scenes hands down are the lemon 714 bits, my sides hurt from laughing so much

Go forth and see this movie

Peace

Lone Survivor

Marky mark has done it again, along with Ben foster, Taylor Kitsch and Emile Hirsch


I'm not even going to write about this film, all I'm going to put is

GO AND SEE THIS FUCKING FILM!!!!!!!!



Peace

Saving Mr Hanks

Saving Mr Banks.... first off you can't take this as a bio film

That said this is such an amazing story (side note, do yourself a favour and watch a documentary called "the boys" after you watch this film)

Anyway the on screen chemistry between Emma and Tom is what gives this film its heart and soul, you stop seeing them, and see Walt and P L Travers, but the unsung star of this film is Paul Giamatti, he only flitters in and out but his character makes a real impact on audience and on the character Travers aswell

Deffo worth your time indeed

Peace

All you can eat has broken me

So I spent the evening eating my own weight in duck and playing some pool, two of the people playing should not be allowed near a pool table really as they are that bad.....

I also heard the greatest description of the hobbit and lord of the rings films in my life this evening

I also rewatched the last episode of series 2 of sherlock.... if there isn't some pretty big explanations in tonight's episode I may have to bitch slap someone, you can't write a plot like that not be able to explain what happend, like the shooter who was on john, it cuts to a scene where you get a POV shot through his scoop and he looking at john standing where sherlock landed.... now unless there was a bus or a bin lorry in the way, which I don't recall in the explanations put foward in ep1 of series 3 he would of seen what really happend anyway I assume as he was an assin he would of been at an upper vantage point to have a clear view of the surroundins so why didnt he just pop a bullet in johns head?

I fear that I will be shouting at the TV when the last episode of this series airs tonight

Peace out bitches

I don't think i want to be a pirate anymore ( Cpt Philips )

First off the film is worth sitting through the first 2 hours for the final 15 minutes, i'm not saying they were a hard 2 hours to watch but i would of liked it if they had got there a little quicker, i have a screen-er that had no subtitles so i like Tom Hanks character could not understand a bloody word the Somali pirates were saying and they didn't half go on...

So as for the actual film its self it had some familiar faces but The Pirates stole the show, they gave the film a real sense of realism ( which as actors they are paid to do ) and the last 15 minutes of the film had me sitting up in bed, some of Tom Hanks best acting he has done in his later years

 

so in conclusion, I DON'T WANT TO BE A PIRATE

 

 

PEACE 

 

Good Vibrations, Mr Levitt is a Don

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a don indeed purely for the fact that, In the first film he has directed and stared in, he plays a sex/porn addict and has Scarlett Johansson for a girlfriend, BRAVO indeed, the film its self has an all round 80's flavor from the sound track, who doesn't love a bit of Marky Mark, Muscle cars and questionable clothing choices ( only bikers should wear leather waistcoat/Cuts if you ask me ) that being said, the premises is actually set on laptops, internet history and the ease of watching porn on your smartphone mixed with a good old addict trying to kick his habit story line and you have a tip top movie in my opinion

Well i enjoyed it and that's all that matters really.....

 

 

 

 

The Dreaded Second Post

Wednesdays are the bain of my life at the moment well the first Wednesday of each month and only until next month as i always miss the eBay listings of my local comic shop by half an hour or so, then miss out on a comic i am chasing and then have to end up paying like triple the price.... this week is no different and now i have to trek from my office up Camden at lunch time to try and get a copy of sons of anarchy 5b which when put with all other 6 comics makes a very nice picture and will be framed and going on my wall in the office



I did however manage to get a first print issue 3 cryptozoic man which has pleased me

PEACE

The First Post

As the podcast i put the world to rights on is on a bit of a break, and i have been saying i would dust off my old review blog i thought  why not start a fresh and put it all on one blog....

 

so here it is, in all its glory, my opinions on whats going on around me, and i know opinions are like assholes but truth be told i'm a bit of an asshole until you get to know me

PEACE OUT